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Jane Jones Worst Vampire Ever Caissie St Onge Books

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Jane Jones Worst Vampire Ever Caissie St Onge Books

Jane Jones definitely is the "Worst. Vampire. Ever." She's blood intolerant for one and has to survive on an incredibly rare blood type that her blue collar family has to struggle to find and pay for. She's also, like the rest of us, surrounded by the growing teen vampire media craze that swears all teen vampires are rich, sexy vixens leading glamorous lives whereas Jane's existence is anything but.

Jane, the heroine of what could be a funny "alternative" vampire series poking fun at that teen vampire media craze, has an incredible sense of humor and wit. She's Juno if Juno had gotten bitten instead of pregnant and then been doomed to suffer being the high school outcast for, literally, ETERNITY.

Unfortunately, Jane is the only bright spot in this otherwise weak and incredibly uneven debut YA effort. All of the other characters, including boys--one's alive, one's undead, oooh!--in the typical teen romance love triangle, are flat, lifeless, underdeveloped characters. We really don't care whether or not she picks one boy over the other (no Team Edward or Team Jacob here!) because we know very little about them other than one has braces and blood that could kill her and the other is a Twilight reject. We don't know enough about them to understand why Jane, low self-esteem or not, should care or pick between either of them.

The dastardly villain is introduced slowly in a nice and mysteriously but too late in the game before we've already experienced too many of the inconsistent highs and lows of the books. The writer seems unable to balance the typical romantic suplot with the (should-be-more-interesting) subplot of the mysterious villain that is after Jane's family. Like many things, though the idea that Jane wants to find a cure for vampirism is introduced early in the book, it's lost and unevenly reintroduced under the weight of introducing the love triangle and giving us a clue into Jane's day-to-day tragically ETERNAL teenage life mired by catty bullies, low self-esteem and never-ending homework, which luckily Jane actually likes.

Also, while at first, Jane explaining the difference between her "real" vampire life and the media vampire life is cute and funny, when she's still pointing out the differences in the third half of the book, you're bored by the minutiae of the irrelevant details of her "real" vampire life and the growingly stilted way they're introduced between the all-over-the-place plot and often snappy or stupid (uneven, but better than the rest of the book) dialogue.

The book really deserves 2 stars but I gave it 3 because of Jane and because of her potential as a character. She really deserves better than the basic, underwritten and under-edited story built around her. With a tighter, more neatly woven plot and better developed cast, this book could have truly soared...instead of sinking into the reject pile of books trying to make money off the Twilight craze instead of trying to offer something different and special.

NOTE: Though I enjoy reading books for both preteens and teens, I am definitely not the audience for this book. It was definitely for younger readers and I think, unfortunately, that explains a lot of the lack of development. I think that I would enjoy it more if it was directed at older teens, especially since I think the heroine and the villain fall into that category. This is more of a voyeuristic piece for preteens wanting to live vicariously through a teen vamp.


Tags : Amazon.com: Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever. (9780375868917): Caissie St. Onge: Books,Caissie St. Onge,Jane Jones: Worst. Vampire. Ever.,Ember,0375868917,Family - Alternative Family,Girls & Women,Humorous - General,Popularity;Fiction.,Self-esteem;Fiction.,Vampires;Fiction.,Children's Books - Young Adult Fiction,Children: Young Adult (Gr. 7-9),Fiction,Humorous Stories,Paranormal,Popularity,Self-esteem,Social Issues - General,Vampires,YOUNG ADULT FICTION,Young Adult Fiction Family Alternative Family,Young Adult Fiction Girls & Women,Young Adult Fiction Humorous General

Jane Jones Worst Vampire Ever Caissie St Onge Books Reviews

A refreshing break from novels that completely romanticize the idea of vampirism and the undead, Caissie St. Onge's Jane Jones is refreshingly "human" for a 90 year old teenager.

What I appreciated most about this novel was the fact that it looked at the downside of being a vampire - being stuck in your pre-puberty body for eternity doesn't actually sound like anything I'd ever want to do. Ms. St. Onge addressed the vampire-specific plot holes - what's it like trying to hide your "affliction" from your non-vampire peers, how to deal with sunlight, etc, having to move often because you just don't age like the neighbors do.

Most importantly, dealing with the huge question of whether or not end your eternal teenagerhood (given the chance), even if it means leaving your family behind.

A funny read, it also really made me think about what I would do in Jane's position. And THAT makes this vampire book run circles around the others.
I already announced that I thought this book was cute when I did my mid-book review. The premise behind a blood intolerant vampire strikes me as pretty darn funny. Of course, I'm the type of person that will smile at the mentioning of diarrhea and corny jokes in novels. I smiled a lot during this book.

As I finished this book, I realized that I found some things about the plot that I didn't like. Originally, I was intrigued with Timothy--the hunky vampire hot throb-- but by the end of the story he annoyed me. I think his part was rushed and the author "did away with" him in the best way she saw fit. I was a little disappointed to say the least. As far as love interests go though, I really liked Eli. What a dork. But an extremely likeable dork. I picture him as the kind of kid that has a lunch box full of PB&J sandwiches with no crusts, napkins with superhero imprints, and 100% juice juice boxes-- in high school, of course. You really couldn't help but like the kid. I could tell that he was meant to be the main love interest, because his part in the story felt consistent and even. It didn't feel neglected or rushed.

For those of you that like the quirky, sarcastic MCs-- this is another book to add to your list. Jane is every bit as feisty as Pearl in Sarah Beth Durst's Drink, Slay, Love. She may not have as much "bite" (I couldn't resist it) as Pearl, but she has a lot of heart. Okay, I'll stop. It's just too easy... Seriously, though, Jane has a likeable quality that you seem drawn to--even if she is technically undead. Oh, and the bad guys? They are extra bad. Astrid is a super bi-atch. And that favorite teacher turned arch-nemesis I mentioned in the mid-book review? Whoa, nelly! I have to admit, at the moment, that was a twist I didn't expect.

Overall, Jane Jones Wort Vampire Ever was a super quick, fun read that was perfect for my Halloween themed reading pleasure. It wasn't scary (I don't do scary). I laughed out loud several times-- enough that my 9 year old son started hanging over my shoulder trying to read the book too. I'm not sure if this would hold the attention of an upper YA reader, but it would work for the older MG crowd.
Jane Jones definitely is the "Worst. Vampire. Ever." She's blood intolerant for one and has to survive on an incredibly rare blood type that her blue collar family has to struggle to find and pay for. She's also, like the rest of us, surrounded by the growing teen vampire media craze that swears all teen vampires are rich, sexy vixens leading glamorous lives whereas Jane's existence is anything but.

Jane, the heroine of what could be a funny "alternative" vampire series poking fun at that teen vampire media craze, has an incredible sense of humor and wit. She's Juno if Juno had gotten bitten instead of pregnant and then been doomed to suffer being the high school outcast for, literally, ETERNITY.

Unfortunately, Jane is the only bright spot in this otherwise weak and incredibly uneven debut YA effort. All of the other characters, including boys--one's alive, one's undead, oooh!--in the typical teen romance love triangle, are flat, lifeless, underdeveloped characters. We really don't care whether or not she picks one boy over the other (no Team Edward or Team Jacob here!) because we know very little about them other than one has braces and blood that could kill her and the other is a Twilight reject. We don't know enough about them to understand why Jane, low self-esteem or not, should care or pick between either of them.

The dastardly villain is introduced slowly in a nice and mysteriously but too late in the game before we've already experienced too many of the inconsistent highs and lows of the books. The writer seems unable to balance the typical romantic suplot with the (should-be-more-interesting) subplot of the mysterious villain that is after Jane's family. Like many things, though the idea that Jane wants to find a cure for vampirism is introduced early in the book, it's lost and unevenly reintroduced under the weight of introducing the love triangle and giving us a clue into Jane's day-to-day tragically ETERNAL teenage life mired by catty bullies, low self-esteem and never-ending homework, which luckily Jane actually likes.

Also, while at first, Jane explaining the difference between her "real" vampire life and the media vampire life is cute and funny, when she's still pointing out the differences in the third half of the book, you're bored by the minutiae of the irrelevant details of her "real" vampire life and the growingly stilted way they're introduced between the all-over-the-place plot and often snappy or stupid (uneven, but better than the rest of the book) dialogue.

The book really deserves 2 stars but I gave it 3 because of Jane and because of her potential as a character. She really deserves better than the basic, underwritten and under-edited story built around her. With a tighter, more neatly woven plot and better developed cast, this book could have truly soared...instead of sinking into the reject pile of books trying to make money off the Twilight craze instead of trying to offer something different and special.

NOTE Though I enjoy reading books for both preteens and teens, I am definitely not the audience for this book. It was definitely for younger readers and I think, unfortunately, that explains a lot of the lack of development. I think that I would enjoy it more if it was directed at older teens, especially since I think the heroine and the villain fall into that category. This is more of a voyeuristic piece for preteens wanting to live vicariously through a teen vamp.